3rd Monitoring done

Small round up of the week first as i had a few things happen as these last few week of pregnancy seem to be the most active and busy for my body and Peanut!

Tuesday evening i started having Braxton Hicks contractions i could actually feel! They felt uncomfortable more than anything else and started before dinner time. Peanut would kick right after them as well as they continued through the night so as you can guess i didnt sleep much that night lol                      970680_208708365954461_582525424_n

My belly buttons still an innie so it doesnt look like it will become an outie at all heehee!

Wednesday evening Peanut wouldnt stop bounding up and down! My tummy was moving about so much im suprsied she didnt get seasick in there!

Seriously she was head butting my cervix like crazy causing a really sharp pain which hurt so much i was almost in tears!

Combine that with lots of pressure because of her movement and all i could do was lay on the sofa and ask her to stop! Which of course she wouldnt and it went on for over an hour.

It was like she was trying to reeact the scene from the movie Alien but without popping out of my tummy!

She seems really impatient to be out in the world now and im not stopping her if she wants to come she just has to give my body the right signals etc to come out. Then she went quiet as she managed to give herself hiccups which was kinda cute and funny.

Thursday was Ferragosto which is a long Bank Holiday here in Roma for mid-August! If anyone hadn’t already left Roma for holidays, the mountains or the beach they do that day!

And Peanut decided to try the scene from Alien yet again! (seriously this little madam is full of energy now!) and again ended up with hiccups! Thats 3 days in a row shes managed to give herself hiccups lol

ferragosto

So today we went for the 3rd monitoring at 1pm as Alex had the day off as part of Ferragosto (i keep thinking its saturday because of this even though its friday lol)

Turning up at the clinic there werent many people again but we did see some parents with their little newborns coming for their check-ups.

And when we got to the floor where im monitored we heard the first cries of a new born in the ‘Sala Parto’ which means Birth room!

We both looked at eachother in awe and grinned as i said that would soon be us. It was then it kinda hit me fully that would be ME soon in there!

I suddenly felt really unsettled by this thought….even if Peanut came on time it would only be another 3-4 weeks away! If she didnt come early that is.

HOLY CRAP that isnt long and i suddenly felt really scared and overwhelmed about it! Even being hooked up to the monitor listening to Peanut’s heartbeat and watching her kicks didnt help.

I felt tense and very scared and explained to Alex what i was feeling. He smiled at me and said we would be doing it togeather i wasn’t alone he would be helping me 100% once she arrived.

But still my brain wouldnt stop with this overwhelming feeling of not being ready, not knowing what im supposed to do with her once she arrives!? would i be ok through labor? could i handle it? what if im not a good Mom? what if she doesn’t like me? what if im to overwhelmed? what if i cant breastfeed her properly?

This just seemed to be triggered from the cry of that new born we had heard just a while ago…..its like all the reading, asking questions of other Mum’s i had been doing to prepare just fell away.

I couldnt get at all excited about the monitoring at all and was happy when it was over even though we were left there for longer than normal as the staff was still dealing with the mother and newborn.

Peanut is fine and doing well heartbeat etc is normal and the Dr is pleased with all of this.                      overhwelmed-mother

I felt mentally exhausted coming outside of the clinic and had to lay on the bed when we got home for 20 minutes just to regain some normal thinking and shake of the tense feeling.

Even now typing this i still feel slightly unsettled…..am i really ready for this? for motherhood? when are you ever ready for a big step like this is your life? If you Always put it off then it will never happen or you run out of time.

Maybe its just finally fear, doubts and worries catching up with me as a first time baby is a big unknown for anyone Mom or Dad. Maybe the rose-tinted glasses about it all i seem to have been wearing are slipping slightly……I dont know….

At the end of the day Peanut will be making an arrive and i will just have to get over this fear and suck it up.

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