365 Days of Fitness – Week Seven

Day 43 Sun 27th Mar – Miss Peanut decides to try out the dog cage. Her other fun thing to do was put all her toys inside it.

She’s picking up so many more words. Yes there all in English but at this stage i am happy she’s speaking in one of the languages she hears.

She can now say “upstairs” “Bubbles” “All done.” “empty” “open” “pizza” and quite a few other things. I don’t feel like a useless mother anymore. All she seemed to need was a little more stimulation with more people around her.

She’s blooming and developing before my very eyes. The more we are here in the UK the more she is becoming a little girl rather than a baby.

The black cloud i was in Italy is right at the back of my mind. It doesn’t surface much here. I am far to busy and having fun. I am smiling a lot of the time. I am genuinely having fun here. I am the old me. Grandma loves having Miss Peanut visit. She is cramming the kid full of chocolate and ice creams and spoiling her rotten!

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Day 44 Mon 28th Mar – Miss Peanut is a little clingy today again. I manage to get 1 mile walked only. Yes i realise now i did two day 44’s! oh well never mind.

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Day 45 Tue 29th Mar – The last four days I have kinda neglected typing about my day. I have been walking more now my back is much better. I intend to run again now.

I have also been very up and down emotionally. My family argue sometimes. It’s the normal family bickering. I have found though it brings me down lately.

I don’t want to listen to people ranting or shouting at each other. Instead of trying to calm things down like I used to do, I just sit quietly and switch off.

I have my own doubts and dark thoughts. I don’t need anyone else’s. Shutting down helps, I sit there thinking about other things. A few have noticed the chance. They know I get depressed now.

I sit through the ‘don’t be silly’ talks or ‘come on cheer up’.

My steampunk clothing is growing slowly. There’s still part of me asking why I am bothering.

Miss Peanut is having so much fun. She’s saying more words and so many cuddles with everyone. We go out every day for walks or shopping.

I can’t believe it’s been just over a week. It feels like we have been here a lot longer.

Whenever I think about Rome I feel sad and don’t want to go back. I like being busy. Even though my family can sometimes be annoying I love them. I love the noise and doing stuff.

I feel more alive here.

My second story is finished. I am still re-reading it to see if I have missed anything.

My third story has begun to. I am not writing tons but enough to keep my creative side satisfied.

Me and the dog enjoy a nice run together. He’s always happy to go out with me. I also enjoy running in the day with sunlight!

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Day 46 Wed 30th Mar – A friend here in the UK asked to read my first story. I have agreed and sent it to her. It’s nice to have someone give it a quick read. I have just asked her to let me know if the flow of the story sounds good.

Miss Peanut thought this feather would be an interesting buy at a charity shop.

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Day 47 Thur 31st Mar – Long run today with my Sister. I love these runs. We talk. We laugh. These are things i miss in Rome as i have no one to do this with. I honestly think if i had someone to run and talk to there even for an hour a day i would be less depressed.

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Day 48 Fri 1st Apr – 3 mile walk today

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Day 49 Sat 2nd Apr – I ask Alex if i am going to go back to the same as it was before. I have a week left and i don’t want to go back to the way it was in Rome. I like having company. I like doing things. I like having people to talk to.

Alex tells me we will do more. He also tell me we didn’t get into the state nursery for Miss Peanut. He does leap into action though and contacts a private one near us. We have an appointment to visit them the week we are back in Rome.

The head of the place even suggests Miss Peanut could go to them from morning til lunch until June. This makes me happy. She loves other kids. I really believe she will be happier going to play with other little ones.

My only down is september she will go from 9 am til 4pm! To me thats so long! All day and she will be only 3 years old. I mention my concern but Alex says thats what is done there.

Grandma is also worried about it. But talking to my American friend Jess she tells me they do that in America. Also googling it looks like they do it now in the UK.

I just feel its so long to be parted. I feel a little down. We haven’t been apart much for almost 3 years. Suddenly this feels like a huge step, one i know i wanted.

Alex says we have to cut the strings for mother and child. To me it sounds cruel but i guess other parents do it to. God knows what i will do with all the time i will have in september.

I can’t even remember what that much free time feel likes. I can’t even remember what the heck i used to do with it!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. raccontando
    Apr 11, 2016 @ 12:24:59

    If you want you can take her home in the afternoon from Scuola materna – lots of people do that if they don’t want their child to stay all day.

    Reply

    • ciro1
      Apr 11, 2016 @ 13:35:15

      Oh I didn’t know that! It’s good to know thanks 🙂 Nothing has really been clearly explained to me but I guess I find out more tomorrow when we visit the place.

      Reply

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