Taking a break from Blogging

I haven’t posted in a few weeks.

Truth be told i haven’t really had time. We had two weeks of sickness from Alex and Miss Peanut, so that was a handful in itself. I have kept up with my walking through and 365 days of fitness. I haven’t posted all the pics on Instagram yet, just no time but i will.

I will also try at least to keep going with that on there.

The other reason I plan to stop blogging for a while is because i am starting to make a dream come to.

My writing.

I have been doing it for months and quietly making friends online with other writers/authors and learning how to become an author myself.

I have a book hopefully being publish end of August under a pen name and i have decided to put all my energy and time into that.

I am learning so much and growing as a writer. Yes i am very excited about this and i can’t wait. Honestly i did not realize how much you need to know!

Writing, Beta readers, editing, formatting, cover art, promoting, Author page, and the list goes on! But i am very very lucky to have found some friends and people in the same boat as me and learning as we go.

I am also very lucky to have a really good friend who is an editor and who is helping me out and doing an amazing job at it!

So yes i am very busy.

But i am feeling positive about it all and i have only had small bouts of depression. I am finding being focused and being creative is helping. It makes me feel productive and happy. It’s what i needed to feel like me again. To find myself again.

This is something i really think i needed.

Having said that i have been blogging here for quite a while and will no doubt come back to post and blog. When that will be i cannot say. But i am more that sure i will.

So for now this is Run Brit Chick Run signing off….

 

 

 

Advertisements

365 Days of Fitness – Week 12

Day 77 Sun 1st May – I should run. I have been avoiding it. My spark of motivation is low. I am still losing weight from all the power walking. Salad every day for lunch also helps and avoiding snacking on crap snacks.

I am so tired. Lately every time I go to sleep I open my eyes again and its morning. I can’t stand it. These are the times depression sinks its claws in. I am easily swayed by it because I am so tired.

I end up snapping at Alex and crying. I want a break. We argue but then it seems to dawn on him what’s wrong. He hugs me and becomes all understanding.

He gives me the time I need to breathe. The time to re-collect myself again.

I go dye my hair red again as its been needing doing for weeks. This helps. A little care towards myself and it makes me feel better.

13178561_10154180530333594_2809663084524971156_n

Day 78 Mon 2nd May – Pouring rain so no running. Something interesting to read though.

13164424_10154180530393594_9076438744694588145_n

Day 79 Tue 3rd May -Another walk and writers block.

13133241_10154174369548594_3381549866337063834_n

Day 80 Wed 4th May – Tortellini spinach and ricotta for dinner one of my favs.

13226683_10154180530438594_9075082974806920823_n

Day 81 Thur 5th May -It’s ponies and the rave music tonight…Miss Peanut’s choice.

13177587_10154174369468594_8548999607650596477_n

Day 82 Fri 6th May – I really need to start running again with our friday evenings out.

13094261_10154174369408594_5619950861203960432_n

Day 83 Sat 7th May – My bestie Jess has got me doing the zombies run app again. Day 1 completed.

13177355_10154174369288594_8831087075600848350_n

I haven’t felt like adding stuff day by day to this. It gets a little monotonous. It a good week. I eat to much and i am neglecting my salads. Miss Peanut is still loving school and is so excited to go. She’s going for 3 hours now 5 days a week. It’s the time I need apart.

I spend the time writing or just resting. I speak to friends over facebook chat. Sometimes I go for a walk or to them market to look at the second hand clothes. Other times I will sit in silence and drink tea.

You honestly don’t realise how much you miss the quietness until you don’t have it anymore. Just time to sit without a worry or a care and reflect.

It had improved my mood. Alex has noticed a change in me this week. He can see I am happier. I think it’s been good for all of us in different ways.

I don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore. I can breathe easily for a few hours a day.

I can also use my imagination much more widely when I am alone. There are no interruptions every five minutes. No cartoons on or me with my ear listening for what the kids up to.

I honestly think sending her to nursery has saved my sanity.

And she’s growing and expanding at an astounding rate now from the new stimulus. So many more words she is now saying in both Italian and English. She also doing things she hasn’t done before which I suspect she’s copying from the other kids. Her smiling face when I pick her up makes it worth it.

My friend Jess has also talked me into doing the zombies run app again. I am really lacking in motivation with my running. It’s blinking on zero at the moment. At least I am keeping up with the walking.

I do the first day of zombies run. I think it will keep me motivated.

I am pushing to do my own things now to. Things that make me happy and feel rewarding. It’s what I need and so far it’s going well.

365 Days of Fitness – Week 10

Day 63 Sun 17th Apri – Was planning a longer run but Miss Peanut was out walking with Alex. As soon as she saw me, she didn’t want to let me go. So i couldn’t run past. So a short run today. Better than nothing.

12993477_10154126728063594_5635159494442209745_n

Day 64 Mon 18th Apri – Peanut started nursery today. I was nervous as hell. She seemed to like the first visit but would she like it once she started? Me and Alex took her there. The whole way we kept telling her how fun school was.

She seemed excited. When she saw the building she started shouting yay yay. So that was a good sign.

She didn’t even look to see we there. Then we sat for 30mins waiting for her to finish. The first week she is staying a growing degrees of time.

Apparently this will wet her appetite for nursery. She won’t we were told grow bored and will want to come back. Each day will lead to something new for her. It’s clever and crafty. And I think it will work.

30 mins later and she’s led back out to us. The kid has a huge grin on her face. She’s so happy. She doesn’t want to leave again.

I take her home. I am feeling full of hope. She needs this I can see that. Peanut is over excited and so so happy.

I have time to write when she naps. She’s exhausted. I feel lighter. I am feeling more determined to. I am going to start doing more things for me now.

13062322_10154135960533594_8118023055706658525_n

Day 65 Tue 19th Apri – 8am and the kids fully dressed at the door chomping at the bit to get to school! I have to keep repeating we don’t need to be there until 9. She makes me laugh with her enthusiasm.

I am enjoying the walk there each morning. It’s all green with lovely flowering trees. I feel like I’m out and part of the world again. I feel like I am connecting again.

Peanut stays longer this time. I have to stay the first week just in case she gets worried. It’s all part of the psychology. Hopefully by next week she will start the full 9 until 12 and I will be able to go home in-between.

She comes out with a drawing she did. The kid is all smiles again. She carries it all the way home. We get pizza slices from the shop as a snack.

It’s funny how changing something can make you feel better. Even the walk in the morning is lifting my spirits. Maybe it’s all the sunshine to.

Alex is sinking into watching his youtube videos at dinner time again. It’s annoying. He knows how I feel about it. Once in a while is fine, every night is not. I haven’t seen him all day and would like to talk.

After trying to ask him a question three times and him not realising because he’s glued to the video I give up.

I feel disappointed. It starts to get me a little down. I don’t like being ignored. It makes me feel like I am disappearing or that I am an unheard ghost.

13015521_10154135960428594_4699686634602601633_n

Day 66 Wed 20th Apri – So tired today. I think this first busy week is taking its toll. Peanut screams school school on the way there in the morning. It’s the first time she’s said it. There are other words she’s saying now to. Italian words.

The nursery is obviously doing her good and stimulating her talking. I am relieved.

She’s there for over an hour today. I sit reading a book I bought with me. Its nice to have a corner there to read in while I wait.

They take the kids out in the garden to play. Peanut doesn’t want to come home when its time. She wants to stay with her new friends. I have to bribe her with the promise of pizza.

It’s good she wants to go. I just hope it stays that way. Everyone there says she’s a lovely little girl and I have done well with her. That I should be proud.

I get more writing done today. I feel a little down. I am not sure why. Maybe it’s just the tiredness.

I am hoping it’s not the depression creeping back more. I know it’s still there. I am just choosing to ignore it and focus on the positive.

My story is going well. I have the outline and now just writing chapter by chapter. I am having fun with my characters.

I find a one day writing workshop in Rome! I sign up immediately. I have to do. I want to go. I love my writing and if ways appear to learn and improve it, I will grab it with both hands.

The workshop isn’t until May. I am smiling when I write it in my diary. It’s another thing to look forwards to. Another thing that is mine.

13087457_10154135960343594_6662828231793029650_n

Day 67 Thur 21st Apri – Even more tired today. The week seems to be going quickly but it’s leaving me so tired. Maybe it’s all the activity. My confirmation for the workshop arrives. I do a little happy dance. I can’t wait!

13051573_10154135960238594_63680262692707036_n

Day 68 Fri  22nd Apri– I am told at the nursery to go and come back in an hour and half! I spend the time exploring the area which I don’t know completely. It’s a lovely day. The sun is warm and healing on my skin. It calms me.

Even the brightness of the sun is making me happy. I will have to dig out my sun glasses at some point.

I go look at a little market I am always fond of but never have a chance now to go and look at. I have fun rummaging through all the second hand clothes. I even find a little jacket which looks a little steampunk like and buy it.

Then I have a three mile walk. I power walk as I explore. My head is circling with ideas for my story. Every so often I stop to scribble in my note book.

The exercise is good for getting the imagination juices running. My mind flows to more descriptive words. There are also twists and turns being added to my stories plot. Things that I have not foreseen before now.

Peanut is happy when I collect her. She loves school. They have a male teacher who teaches the kids English. He comes up and translates for me. I love this. Love having someone to explain things to me properly in my own language.

It puts my mind at ease. He tells me he’s always around if I need him to translator.

He tells me their happy with Miss Peanut’s progress. They are trying to teach her the rules. She needs to learn to sit when told. Not to shove other kids or take their toys. I know this will take a while.

I go home feeling a lot happier.

I weave my new ideas into my storyline when it’s her naptime.

In the afternoon we play and watch cartoons. I feel a lot closer to her than I have been.

Alex comes home. I have assigned Fridays as our family even out time. He is a little grumpy. He just wants a pizza at home.

I am firm with the idea of our evening out. We go to a local place we know. Everyone had fun and we enjoy a meal of meat and vegetables. So much better than pizza. He admits he had fun. We are all happy even our little girl.

13051640_10154142469328594_164926624726571515_n

Day 69 Sat 23rd Apri – Miss Peanut is at the front door once she’s dressed at 8am. She thinks she’s going to school. When she realises Alex is staying home, she’s all over him like a baby monkey.

I try and spend the morning doing some writing. You would think with another adult at home this would be easier right? It’s not. I am now looking after two human beings instead of one. Both are demanding.

Every five minutes I am being called to go look at something. Things I don’t really need to see. The kid wants Daddy. He is happy to have her but he soon gets tired.

I have two friends reading my first story. The first one had already given me feedback. The second one now messages me.

She’s the one who loves this genre. She’s hard core role player and fiction addict. I wait biting my nails to what she’s going to say. I know it doesn’t matter too much. Not everyone will like them. Yet still I find it important to have someone enjoy them.

She LOVES IT. She enjoyed the plot, my characters and ideas. And she wants to read my second book!

This brings up my confidence and my mood. Two people in the world like my novels. There will no doubt be more! It gives me a well needed smile.

We take Miss Peanut to the part and then a few shops. Home again she plays and watches cartoons.

There’s supposed to be a storm today. Its grey outside but the rain doesn’t come. I want to watch a movie together but there doesn’t seem to be time.

I can feel my mood slipping. I end up snapping at Alex. I don’t have patience anymore. I just want to go somewhere for five minutes of peace.

13087341_10154142468448594_8909567058080119856_n

365 Days of Fitness – Week one

I am not going to cheat.

Whatever I write on here is what I have done and how I felt.

The only person I would be cheating and lying to is myself. This is my journey and it only affects me.

I sat for a while on the first day figuring out what to do. I tend to work better if I have a written plan, so that’s what I decided to do. It really does help seeing it scribbled in my diary, especially on bad days.

Remembering all the 30 days challenges I did quite a while ago, I went back to them. I have picked planking, chair dips and press-ups for my first 30 days.

These I decided would get me started. They start off easy then build up. I have also restarted the 5km training plan which is three days of running. If I want to run more than I will but I am not putting pressure on it. I think that is the key.

So these sound good. I might mix them up with a workout, if the kid lets me have time. But that depends on her mood and if she decides if Mummy can have time during the day without interruption.

I am posting cheesy photos once a day for Instagram and will use them on here. Hopefully I might actually start smiling in some of them.

Day 1 Sun Feb 14th – My birthday and the day this journey begins.

I am excited and wanted to do everything. Just go out and run as long as I can, then do a million workouts. I know this is because I am excited and determined right now. But I know doing too much at once will just be silly. I don’t want to injure myself.

So I complete the first day of my 30 day challenges. Planking for 20 seconds, 15 press ups and 30 chair dips.

That might not sound like much but I felt them afterwards. Alex surprises me by planking with me. This Italian does not like exercise. So for him to do this is a small miracle. It was his choice and I am happy he is willing to do it.

He is also going to try and keep to this one. It’s good because he tells me to keep my butt down which helps.

I put a photo on Instagram. It’s another way to mark my progress and I think it will help.

12747345_10153951577298594_9066292905042910458_o

Day 2 Mon 15th Feb – We decided to do the planking in the morning before Alex goes to work. We both are excited to do it even though he complained of aches and pains this morning.

20 secs of planking and even he is feeling it to.

During the day I completed 35 chair dips and 16 push ups. Everything clicks when I do them. I mean physically clicks, it’s a little annoying but I guess it’s a sign I’m getting older.

After eleven hours of playing with Miss Peanut and also watching cartoons on and off, I am mentally drained. Facing going out and running makes me want to cry. I would rather go crawl into the bathroom and hide when the time comes. But I can’t do that.

My three day running plan starts today. The vultures of self-doubt are already circling. I have been thinking too much during the day letting the darkness drag me down.

I can’t help it. I am alone apart from the kid so the depression makes itself at home in my head. It’s been comfortable there for so long now.

The hardest part is getting my ass out the door. On auto pilot I get dressed in my running clothes. I still don’t want to go and putting them on doesn’t make me feel better. I want to wallow in self-pity. Instead when Alex gets home I go straight out to the park.

I don’t think. I just go with my music already on. It’s the only way to make myself go.

I ran a mile without stopping. It was slow and a 13 minute mile but I don’t care. The main thing was after a month and half of not running I did not stop. I had really expected to stop and start, walk, even wheeze a bit. I didn’t though. I felt fine. This did surprise me.

I only stopped after a mile to do up my shoelace then I completed another half a mile. I was buzzing with a flood of endorphins enjoying that tiny spark of positivity which I know won’t last long.

Its motivation I need.

I know this is because it’s the start and I know that might eventually fade. But when it does I will re-read all of this and see how well I have done up to that point.

12728949_10153952473213594_5346324882581461099_n

Day 3 Tue 16th Feb – A twitter friend has recommended a book for me to read. So I went ahead and downloaded it.

Reasons to Stay Alive’ by Matt Haig. I read the first two pages and I cannot put it down. This guy is describing pretty much exactly how I feel and what is going on in my head. I know I won’t get to read it all in one go. It will have to be in dribs and drabs, but I think it might help.

30 seconds of planking this morning. I am feeling quite strong. Alex huffed and puffed but got it done.

It’s raining today so we are staying inside. Alone with the kid again and I am over thinking stuff and not in a good way.

We had a rough night, she woke up from a nightmare and I spent 30 mins comforting her. After that I lay awake for 2 hours unable to sleep. My brain just would not shut off again.

I feel so tired today. I keep wondering if I am ever going to lose the black bags under my eyes or are they now a permanent fixture.

My arms are aching from the exercises so far. I don’t want to do the ones today. I can’t wimp out now. In the end I force myself. Its only 17 push ups and 40 chair dips.

I feel crappy that a big part of me already wants to give up. That so much of me would let the depression win. I end up having a long cry about it.

Two expat friends John and Alison surprise me with a visit in the afternoon. I have to make the effort to get dressed and tidy up. It makes me have a 1 mile walk with Miss Peanut to the metro to meet them. Luckily it’s stopped raining and it’s time to clear my head in the fresh air.

I love their visit. They live four or five hours from Rome so I don’t see them often. Ali tells me she knows I have been depressed for the last two years. I wish they lived closer. As she points out I am lonely to.

We chat about everything and nothing. They know about my blog post and we talk about that. I look at the floor when I talk. I feel ashamed and can’t look them in the eye.

It helps. They are both understanding and know I have been going through stuff for quite a few years now. When they leave I am mentally drained. You don’t realise the effects of just talking until you haven’t done it for a long time. I feel exhausted but in a good day.

12768388_10153967140413594_2869874169695985435_o

Day 4 Wed 17th Feb – We went to get the application form for Miss Peanut to start Materna (school) for September when she turns three.

I am almost giddy with a little sense of excitement over this. It means half a day of freedom to breathe and be me.

The only problem is they have limited space and she might not get in.

Alex has suggested we go private if she doesn’t, which means we pay. At this point he knows we have to do it to save my sanity. The excitement soon wears off. At the end of the day nothing is certain and I don’t want to get my hopes up over something that might not happen.

I am still tired even more so. The kind, that can leave you muddle and lets the wrong confused words spill out of your mouth.

She woke up at 5am this morning. It took me an hour to get her to sleep again. Then we were up at 7am. She always wakes once or twice a night for milk still. I seem to have lived on 5 or 6 hours, even less sometimes for almost 2 and half years. It makes me wonder what sleeping the night through would be like again.

I did walk 1 mile and half and that counts as exercise.

Alex is skipping the plank today. His back is hurt and he doesn’t feel up to it. I don’t mind but I still get my 30 sec plank done.

There’s no chair dips today as it’s a rest day on the workout. I still manage 18 push ups.

Today has been a good day. There’s not been much time for me to over think thing and sink into the dark fog hanging over me. Not thinking helps. I am so tired by 7pm, but I still go out for my run.

It’s a mile and half again. Tonight I just want to get it done. Then get back to cook dinner. I hope Miss Peanut will just sleep more tonight.

I am so tired that I end up walk running. Even like this I still get it done.

12729187_10153965025448594_8350982844749158051_n

Day 5 Thur 18th Feb – Alex doesn’t plank today. I am procrastinating about doing it. I still haven’t done any of the exercises by 3pm. I know I am going to have to at some point.

I am trying to be good food wise. Recently I have been eating crap. Eating myself into sweet oblivion might have looked good at the time, but ultimately it’s not.

So I am going to be as healthy as I can when eating. Treats occasionally are fine. I am not a saint when it comes to food though. It’s been my comfort blanket for so long now.

So far it is going well. I am not sure how long eating salads though for lunch will last.

It’s been a good day so far. I am in a good mood. I have chatted with a few people on Facebook and played a lot with Miss Peanut.

People I know in the UK are all excited about going to see a movie. Deadpool. I really want to see this one to. Having a google to my local cinema which plays a few movies in original language I discover it’s on. The version in Italian is played all day for a week. The English version is only played today and tomorrow once at 10.22pm.

The bottom of my good mood falls out right there. I can’t even go and see a film I want to see anymore. That’s way too late for me, it won’t be finished til midnight. I have a child to put to bed and give milk to in the night, how can I go that late?

I can’t even use it as an escape. Maybe this is a silly thing, but when you can’t do normal things it becomes big to you.

I just want to go lay on the sofa now and cry. Pathetic I guess, but I feel trapped again. Stuck somewhere I can’t be me and be normal.

Eventually I make myself do a 40 second plank. Then 19 push ups and 45 chair dips.

After that I discover the film is also being shown on the weekend at 1pm both days. That’s it though for day showings. It still sucks, but it’s better than nothing and I can hopefully get to see it.

12728827_10153965025413594_8097513883703237304_n

Day 6 Fri 19th Feb – There’s only a run marked on my diary today. Everything else is marked as a rest day. I am both relieved and disappointed. A strange combination I know. I bounce between them all morning.

The running is tonight but Alex is working late. In the end I swap the workout for today and tomorrow. This mean the run gets moved. I don’t mind.

I do the 45 second plank while Miss Peanut is napping. I did 20 push up when she was awake. My mistake. She decided it was fun to sit on Mummy’s back while I did them.

The child is 13 kgs. I made it to two before I couldn’t move. In the end I had to keep telling her to bring me different toys, just so she would leave me alone to get it done. I survived.

I procrastinate with the chair dips, but eventually get 50 done.

Today I throw myself into my writing. It helps as I lose myself in my characters and storylines. It’s not always easy to do, especially with a toddler on the loose.

Normally I just write during Miss Peanut’s nap times and when she’s gone to bed. It’s my therapy through words. My little bit of freedom to express myself. I stick on her favourite cartoons and manage to get 20 mins to myself. These moments are precious to me. I love her to bits, but need my space to.

My stories are flowing. I’m falling in love with my characters a little more each time. One day hopefully I might share them with the world.

1000019_10153965025373594_1353656782546935155_n

Day 7 Sat 20th Feb – Weekends are the worst for me to exercise. Alex is home and I tend to get extremely lazy. We end up going to the little mall we like. I eat to much as I always do on weekend. I planned to have no dinner, but Alex announces we are having pizza tonight. He doesn’t seem to understand when I say I don’t want dinner I’m fine. I guess that comes from living with an Italian.

I sneak into the bedroom in the afternoon to get my 45 sec plank done.

Then I do 21 push ups to. Miss Peanut is at the door. Her little face pressed up against the frosted glass. I do these quickly. You can’t really take it slow with a toddler stalking you. She knows I’m in her. There is no escape.

The 50 chair dips I get grudgingly done. They are done in the bathroom, while Peanut is distracted with cartoons. I hate these, but I know their good for me.

I have to invent new ways to keep the kid distracted. It’s not always easy.

My kindle then decides to inexplicably die. Dead as a door nail. It’s been my faithful companion for over a year and half. I google on it, read books, use face book, twitter. It feels like I have lost an extension of myself. It’s abandoned me.

Why me? That’s what I ask myself. Why do these things happen to me when things start going right?

Yes I get a little depressed. Alex is on hand though to have a look at it. He does some googling and then arranges for me to have another one. Somehow he wrangles me a free one. Don’t ask me how. But my deceased kindle is to be replaced on Thursday. I am happy again. He is a miracle worker.

I have a mile and half run to do that I couldn’t do yesterday. I keep procrastinating. It gets to 6.40pm. I prefer to run in the dark at this stage. Less people can see me.

In the end I go out and run it. It’s a good run I don’t stop running until it’s done. My head fills with story ideas as I run. I wonder why I stopped running for so long when it feels this good.

12745841_10153965025313594_6643702278011424494_n

Reading back through my daily posts this is starting to sound like a diary. That’s ok if this is how it’s going to go. I am being honest and open. It’s something I feel I need to do. I have hidden behind a sad smile long enough. Writing is therapeutic or so they say.

I don’t know if it will be like this every week. I guess I will have to wait and see.

So week one accomplished with its ups and downs.

The Patronus 5k!

I have been a little busy with stuff lately but I am getting around to blogging about stuff we did in October while on the UK visit.

So here is the online race i did while there 🙂

Another of the Hogwarts races was held on the 4th October. It was called the The Patronus 5k!

If you know the books and films then you will know a Patronus can only be conjured by focusing on one’s happiest memories and finding the light amidst the darkness. They are used to fight off Dementors Attacks.

This race was being held to support the Noah’s light foundation, which is a charity for pediatric brain cancer. The fact this type of cancer affects children made me really want to take part.

Having a child myself i cannot imagine the pain of parents going through something like that and i hope i never do.

The race fee which was going to the charity was 30 dollars with 4 dollars over seas delivery charge.

The medal itself is lovely! It’s two sided with Snape’s patronus doe leading us through the forrest of Dean. On the other side it says: “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

We also got a downloadable Bib to wear again 🙂

As this was the Sunday which would be my first full day in the UK, I ended up running it slow round the local park. My sister and the dog came running with me as they always do when i visit.

I had not run for a week and half before that so it was not as good as I would have liked. Still it was enjoyable and kept me running.

Once I was done I posted a pic of my time and distance on the Facebook event page.

I couldn’t wait to receive this lovely medal! 🙂 It looks fantastic on my medal board!

11998874_573683162772248_3545945373816871129_n

There are also a ton more races to choose from for November! I have signed up for two more The Voldemort V-miler (5 miles) and Department of Mysteries (6.2442miles)

As its the Time turn event i can do these when ever i want with no date set! So i will be doing these some time now in December!

12108901_584361428371088_2410131711080740544_n

 

Back to Running!

Its been almost two weeks since my fall. Since i fell hard, fast and flat on the tarmac in the park in the dark. It is an experience i hope never to repeat.

My hands and knee are all healed up now with only healing scars to show.

I have been having trouble with my wrist. That first week after falling it was hurting alot. I couldn’t put weight on it and it was agony if i moved it in certain ways.

Talking to the Doctor at the pharmacy he gave me some gel and a brace to keep it still. They have worked wonders as the pain began to lessen after a few days. He assured me it was nothing more than a bad sprain.

So the fall was on a Wednesday and i was back out running by saturday afternoon. I was both excited and scared to get back out there.

I have to admit i was terrified of falling again. It was not a nice experience and has made me wary of the paths and running faster. All running in the dark is not as nice as running in daylight.

So that saturday i took it slow and went for a run. Everything was still healing at the time but luckily i had no pain.

I did slow right down where i fell with fear i might fall again. I think that point in the park will always worry me now.

I was happy that i actually managed a PB! (personal best) Some seconds faster on my current 5km time! 😀

11058149_10153765069498594_9006595287163531464_n

Since then i have been going out 4-5 times a week running no more than 5kms. Mostly this is because when i run in the week its at night and i don’t have a lot of time.

The other reason is my wrist ached when i ran.

Now everything is better i am going to start adding the milage. I want to get back to where i was on the 10km plan i was following. I had been running 4 and half miles before my fall.

I need to be able to do 10kms by newyears eve that is my aim!

 

My first Running Fall!

Last night i went out for a run. It was the first run back in Rome since getting back from my UK trip on saturday.

For the last 5 weeks i have been running with my sister. I am following a 10km running plan at the moment. We had reached running 4 miles already and i have been really enjoying the runs.

I have been getting faster and stronger.

So last night i went out with the intention of running 5km’s. It was already dark but the park lights were on, there were also 4 other runners.

I started to run and then after half a mile got problems with the music player on my phone. It kept changing songs every minute which was getting annoying.

I am not sure what’s going on with it but i couldn’t fix it. I finished the first mile in 12 minutes exactly, carrying on i started to run faster and harder.

The constant change in music just made me want to get the run finished. I remember looking at my watch realising i had completed over a mile and half in 17 minutes.          11168399_10153757653738594_2618123172050037746_n

The next thing i knew i stumbled then tripped. I was running so fast i knew the impact was going to hurt alot!

Bringing my arms up i saved my face from hitting the tarmac. Laying their flat on the ground i felt completely numb for a moment.

Then the pain started, a burning, growing pain.

An Italian guy who had been sitting on a bench near by talking on his phone ran to help me. He told his friend on the phone what had happened and he would call him back.

He helped me sit up and asked if i was ok. The pain was growing and i was hissing at the stinging. Not just my hands now but on one knee to.

Looking down i realised i had torn skin off my palms, a tiny bit on my left and alot on my right hand.

Blood was welling and skin was hanging off, it was not a pretty sight.

The guy was telling me to just sit still, breath and relax that there was no rush to get up.

I just sat their hurting and stunned at what had happened. I have never fallen when running before and i could not believe it had happened. Also i could not believe how hard i had hit the floor. I was amazed i had not broken anything!

What the heck had happened?

The guy told me he thought he saw me put one leg behind the other and trip myself. I was not so sure this was true as the part of the path i was running on was uneven.

The pain was getting worse and i knew i just couldn’t sit there all night. The guy helped me up and i thanked him saying i would walk home. I was actually limping when i headed out of the park.

It was a 6 -7 minute walk home. When i started feeling woozy and faint i pulled out my phone.

I was pretty certain it was shock making me feel light headed but i was worried about passing out.

Phoning Hubby i told him what happened. He kept me talking the whole walk home and kept my mind focused which helped the faintness.

As soon i was inside he put sugar in my mouth. Sometimes i have low blood pressure and he wanted to make sure my blood sugar was up. It helped 🙂

Next he checked me over and helped me get my running stuff off. Washing all my scrapes, cuts and brusies was painful especially as there was dirt in alot of them. I think the shock of what happened made them feel worse.

My running trousers had a hole now in the knee where i had fallen. There were cuts and a big bruise.

12219438_10153757652898594_8796496914813456312_n

Alex is always prepared for EVERYTHING, it’s like living with a pharmacist! He always keeps stocks of plasters, bandages etc just in case we need them. (I think he’s stocking for the apocalypse)

So it was easy for Alex to disinfect everything. After cleaning my knee Miss Peanut decided to poke it to help, i couldn’t stop laughing at her serious face.

More cleaning and then i was bandaged up. Everything still throbbed, burnt and my left wrist was aching.

12208264_10153756713763594_6576294441847393734_n

I was making light of everything and joking. Alex was happy i had not hurt myself any worse!

This morning we had to take the bandages off which was not fun as some of them were stuck to the wounds. More disinfecting which again stung and burned then i was bandages up again.

My hands don’t look pretty with missing skin. My knee is a bit swollen. It looks like i have half of a red golf ball sticking out just below my knee, its also scraped and cut.

I can walk fine, things are just a bit achy now.

All i can keep thinking is when can i go run again??

I know i will have to run slower now. I probably won’t be able to go out until monday if all is well. Strangly i’m excited about going running again it has not put me off at all.

I don’t know if that makes me crazy or just dedicated! Hahahaha!

 

 

 

Previous Older Entries

The Hunter Chronicles

Frostbite - A Novel by Claire Marta

Be Like Water

Music, Film and Life

21097m

Training for my first half marathon

Jessica on the Run

The tail of an American gal with two crazy dalmatians in Northern France