Day 63 Sun 17th Apri – Was planning a longer run but Miss Peanut was out walking with Alex. As soon as she saw me, she didn’t want to let me go. So i couldn’t run past. So a short run today. Better than nothing.
Day 64 Mon 18th Apri – Peanut started nursery today. I was nervous as hell. She seemed to like the first visit but would she like it once she started? Me and Alex took her there. The whole way we kept telling her how fun school was.
She seemed excited. When she saw the building she started shouting yay yay. So that was a good sign.
She didn’t even look to see we there. Then we sat for 30mins waiting for her to finish. The first week she is staying a growing degrees of time.
Apparently this will wet her appetite for nursery. She won’t we were told grow bored and will want to come back. Each day will lead to something new for her. It’s clever and crafty. And I think it will work.
30 mins later and she’s led back out to us. The kid has a huge grin on her face. She’s so happy. She doesn’t want to leave again.
I take her home. I am feeling full of hope. She needs this I can see that. Peanut is over excited and so so happy.
I have time to write when she naps. She’s exhausted. I feel lighter. I am feeling more determined to. I am going to start doing more things for me now.
Day 65 Tue 19th Apri – 8am and the kids fully dressed at the door chomping at the bit to get to school! I have to keep repeating we don’t need to be there until 9. She makes me laugh with her enthusiasm.
I am enjoying the walk there each morning. It’s all green with lovely flowering trees. I feel like I’m out and part of the world again. I feel like I am connecting again.
Peanut stays longer this time. I have to stay the first week just in case she gets worried. It’s all part of the psychology. Hopefully by next week she will start the full 9 until 12 and I will be able to go home in-between.
She comes out with a drawing she did. The kid is all smiles again. She carries it all the way home. We get pizza slices from the shop as a snack.
It’s funny how changing something can make you feel better. Even the walk in the morning is lifting my spirits. Maybe it’s all the sunshine to.
Alex is sinking into watching his youtube videos at dinner time again. It’s annoying. He knows how I feel about it. Once in a while is fine, every night is not. I haven’t seen him all day and would like to talk.
After trying to ask him a question three times and him not realising because he’s glued to the video I give up.
I feel disappointed. It starts to get me a little down. I don’t like being ignored. It makes me feel like I am disappearing or that I am an unheard ghost.
Day 66 Wed 20th Apri – So tired today. I think this first busy week is taking its toll. Peanut screams school school on the way there in the morning. It’s the first time she’s said it. There are other words she’s saying now to. Italian words.
The nursery is obviously doing her good and stimulating her talking. I am relieved.
She’s there for over an hour today. I sit reading a book I bought with me. Its nice to have a corner there to read in while I wait.
They take the kids out in the garden to play. Peanut doesn’t want to come home when its time. She wants to stay with her new friends. I have to bribe her with the promise of pizza.
It’s good she wants to go. I just hope it stays that way. Everyone there says she’s a lovely little girl and I have done well with her. That I should be proud.
I get more writing done today. I feel a little down. I am not sure why. Maybe it’s just the tiredness.
I am hoping it’s not the depression creeping back more. I know it’s still there. I am just choosing to ignore it and focus on the positive.
My story is going well. I have the outline and now just writing chapter by chapter. I am having fun with my characters.
I find a one day writing workshop in Rome! I sign up immediately. I have to do. I want to go. I love my writing and if ways appear to learn and improve it, I will grab it with both hands.
The workshop isn’t until May. I am smiling when I write it in my diary. It’s another thing to look forwards to. Another thing that is mine.
Day 67 Thur 21st Apri – Even more tired today. The week seems to be going quickly but it’s leaving me so tired. Maybe it’s all the activity. My confirmation for the workshop arrives. I do a little happy dance. I can’t wait!
Day 68 Fri 22nd Apri– I am told at the nursery to go and come back in an hour and half! I spend the time exploring the area which I don’t know completely. It’s a lovely day. The sun is warm and healing on my skin. It calms me.
Even the brightness of the sun is making me happy. I will have to dig out my sun glasses at some point.
I go look at a little market I am always fond of but never have a chance now to go and look at. I have fun rummaging through all the second hand clothes. I even find a little jacket which looks a little steampunk like and buy it.
Then I have a three mile walk. I power walk as I explore. My head is circling with ideas for my story. Every so often I stop to scribble in my note book.
The exercise is good for getting the imagination juices running. My mind flows to more descriptive words. There are also twists and turns being added to my stories plot. Things that I have not foreseen before now.
Peanut is happy when I collect her. She loves school. They have a male teacher who teaches the kids English. He comes up and translates for me. I love this. Love having someone to explain things to me properly in my own language.
It puts my mind at ease. He tells me he’s always around if I need him to translator.
He tells me their happy with Miss Peanut’s progress. They are trying to teach her the rules. She needs to learn to sit when told. Not to shove other kids or take their toys. I know this will take a while.
I go home feeling a lot happier.
I weave my new ideas into my storyline when it’s her naptime.
In the afternoon we play and watch cartoons. I feel a lot closer to her than I have been.
Alex comes home. I have assigned Fridays as our family even out time. He is a little grumpy. He just wants a pizza at home.
I am firm with the idea of our evening out. We go to a local place we know. Everyone had fun and we enjoy a meal of meat and vegetables. So much better than pizza. He admits he had fun. We are all happy even our little girl.
Day 69 Sat 23rd Apri – Miss Peanut is at the front door once she’s dressed at 8am. She thinks she’s going to school. When she realises Alex is staying home, she’s all over him like a baby monkey.
I try and spend the morning doing some writing. You would think with another adult at home this would be easier right? It’s not. I am now looking after two human beings instead of one. Both are demanding.
Every five minutes I am being called to go look at something. Things I don’t really need to see. The kid wants Daddy. He is happy to have her but he soon gets tired.
I have two friends reading my first story. The first one had already given me feedback. The second one now messages me.
She’s the one who loves this genre. She’s hard core role player and fiction addict. I wait biting my nails to what she’s going to say. I know it doesn’t matter too much. Not everyone will like them. Yet still I find it important to have someone enjoy them.
She LOVES IT. She enjoyed the plot, my characters and ideas. And she wants to read my second book!
This brings up my confidence and my mood. Two people in the world like my novels. There will no doubt be more! It gives me a well needed smile.
We take Miss Peanut to the part and then a few shops. Home again she plays and watches cartoons.
There’s supposed to be a storm today. Its grey outside but the rain doesn’t come. I want to watch a movie together but there doesn’t seem to be time.
I can feel my mood slipping. I end up snapping at Alex. I don’t have patience anymore. I just want to go somewhere for five minutes of peace.
Run Brit Chick Run 